Argentina Adds Steam to Dancing With The Stars

Posted on October 14, 2011 by

The Argentinians really know how to dance! Being the home of the Tango, it must be in their blood. Combine that with the passion of Latin lovers and you get the Argentine version of ‘Dancing With The Stars’. They put us to shame…or is it the other way around? Check out the link above for the whole dance and the video below for the judges reaction. I don’t think ‘nipple slip’ is in their vocabulary.

 

The Roman themed dance that they chose
Was part steamy and part grandiose,
Especially the ending
That some found offending
As she finished without any clothes!

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

New Cloaking Device Makes Things Invisible

Posted on October 10, 2011 by

This is a very interesting article about a machine that can create an invisibility cloak using the same science as found in mirages. While the movies usually refer to mirages when someone is lost in the desert, we see them mostly when driving down a highway on a hot day. They often look like pools of water on the road. The machine is still in its early stages and works best underwater but the potential is there. While walking around with an invisibility cloak may sound fun, there are some problems that would quickly need to be addressed, especially about the undressed.

The chance we could travel unseen
Sounds good but a problem I glean
Is invisible cloaks
For regular folks
Would quickly turn lewd and obscene.

 


Posted in Lifestyle | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Does God Know About Somalia?

Posted on October 8, 2011 by

Why isn’t God in Somalia? They’ve been beaten down, impoverished, starved, shot, macheted and now blown up. If any country deserves some help, this is it. Of course it will never happen. God is a perennial no show. Which begs the question, if he’s not going to help Somalia, who will he help?

There once was a God who all seeing
Insisted we worship his being,
But pray as we might
For help with our plight
Did not guarantee our wellbeing.

Which then begs the question as why
To worship this eye in the sky,
If he never prevents
The chain of events
Then he’s neither a friend or ally.

So we’re sliding down life’s slippery slope
With no help from a preacher or Pope
And it seems even Jesus
Just does what he pleases
With no one to throw us a rope.

You can pine, you can whine or bemoan
The answers to questions unknown,
But we still have our brains
And a heart that contains
Enough love so we thrive on our own.

Posted in Lifestyle, Limerick Poems | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Tea Party Apparently Likes Fruit

Posted on October 3, 2011 by

The Tea Partiers have been real quiet lately. Their call to shrink government only seems to surface when it’s something that doesn’t directly affect them. Not a surprise given most of them accept Medicare or Social Security payments. That’s why this movement has no legs. Their hypocrisy and transparency are glaringly evident. I’ve devised a test to see if they’re really serious about living with less government support…

The Tea Party desires to hem
Our Governments’ growth to stem
Their concern over spending,
So we should be sending
All of our cantaloupe to them.

Posted in Lifestyle | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

OnStar is Off Base

Posted on September 28, 2011 by

The folks at OnStar have risen to new heights of marketing madness. They track all kinds of data on your car such as performance, location, speed, etc. Problem is, when you unsubscribe to the service, they still track you anyway! Their lame excuse is “we have no plans to sell your info to any third parties, we just need to do a better job of communicating to our customers”.  Here’s an idea: don’t track people who unsubscribe and take it out of your Terms and Conditions! Sheeze…do they think we’re really that stupid? The service is way overpriced anyway and anyone who subscribes to it is a chump. We don’t always get what we pay for but often get what we deserve..

OnStar will track where you go
And pretend like it’s just status quo,
But while playing the savior
They’re tracking behavior
To sell it to others for dough.

OnStar

Posted in Lifestyle | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

This is One Cool (and Hot) Kat

Posted on September 26, 2011 by

Bad news in Hollywood relationship land. Kat Von D and Jesse James have broken up again. This one may be final. We’ll know for sure when she covers that tattoo of his name (if we can even tell!). I have to admit, though, I like all those tattoos and that deep sexy voice. She deserves better than that bonehead who cheated on Sandra Bullock. And what’s with the name…it sounds a bit lame…to be calling yourself Jesse James.

Their reunion has again fallin’ flat
And appears to be more than a spat,
If her clothes she won’t doff
With the wedding called off
It would seem that’s the last tit for tat.

 

Kat Von D


Posted in Lifestyle | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

UBS Means ‘U Better Sell’

Posted on September 20, 2011 by

UBS is a bank in trouble. After losing billions on bad mortgages, they respond with a dress code that dictates the color of women’s underwear and the shaving habits for men. Talk about missing the point! Now a ‘rogue’ trader takes them to the cleaners for another $2.3 billion. Their CEO has created a culture of arrogance that fosters incompetence but he doesn’t think it’s his fault. Classic case of denying responsibility when things go bad (but we’re sure he’ll take all the credit when things turn around). Short answer…throw the bum out!

UBS is a real work of art
With losses that have at their heart
A focus on looks
Instead of their books
Cause they’re only just dressing the part.

Posted in Investing | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Avoid Companies That Suck

Posted on September 15, 2011 by

It’s a tough job market out there. So bad that the Presidents Job’s Bill has a provision to prevent discrimination against the unemployed. A rational person might ask what kind of company institutes this type of policy? Answer: a crappy one. If you run up against this then move on. There are better companies out there.

If you think that your paycheck displays
A lack of respect for the days
You worked overtime
For nary a dime,
It’s ’cause keeping your job’s the new raise.

Posted in Lifestyle | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

French Banks Getting Greece’d Up

Posted on September 12, 2011 by

Looks like we’re in store for another wild ride in the Stock market. Europe’s debt woes are rapidly approaching some form of end game…I hope. The ECB and European banks are still pretending that Greece is ok and will eventually recover. I think they’re just buying time to prepare for a hard landing. Now Moody’s is finally getting around to downgrading the banks (nobody ever accused them of an excess of foresight). It’s like a game of musical chairs except when the music stops, more than one chair will be missing!

Downgrading the banks is now pending
For all of their profligate lending.
With no Golden Fleece
Anywhere in Greece
All that’s left is an unhappy ending.

Posted in Investing | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Caught In The Act Of Cop-ulation

Posted on September 5, 2011 by

Now here is a case of bad luck. Forget for the moment the whole officer-on-duty question and here is a guy whose girlfriend offers him some ‘afternoon delight’ (it had to be a girlfriend because wives don’t have sex on cars). They meet out in the desert for a quickie on the hood of her car. Unfortunately, his choice of location is a remote ranch covered with security cameras and owned by a TV news station! What started as a good day took a turn for the worse. Everyone’s whining that he was on duty but there are no laws saying you can’t have sex with your girlfriend on your lunch break. My advice to him is either wear a cape or…

I think he had nary a hunch
That over his shoulders a bunch
Of cameras were viewing
His afternoon screwing,
Maybe next time just take her to lunch.

Posted in Lifestyle | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The 49ers are Fool’s Gold

Posted on August 30, 2011 by

I’m not a big San Francisco 49ers fan even though I live in the bay area, but I get to read all about them in the local papers. After their latest dismal loss the coach described their offense as still in a ‘process’ of learning. A little to optimistic me thinks. I still blame the owning York family who have demonstrated over the years their complete inability to build a winning franchise. It will be a long time before the 49ers strike gold again.

This year thought the team might be bucking
Their losing trend but now they’re ducking
The fact it’s not turning
With a ‘process’ of learning
That’s more like a ‘process’ for sucking.

Posted in Sports | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Kim Kardashian Weds What’s-His-Name

Posted on August 25, 2011 by

Aren’t we all excited about Kim Kardashian’s wedding? Nope…nada…shoot me in the head! She is a classic example of someone who is famous for almost being famous. No discernible skills or talents other than…getting dressed? Her wedding was a glitzy affair by all accounts and she remarked “”Glam aside, that wasn’t our main goal. It was really about our family and each other.” How sweet. Not to mention the People magazine exclusive to ‘every delicious detail’ of the wedding. And if that’s not enough…

This weekend saw Kim getting wed
And afterwards smiling she said,
“It’s the families together”
But I think the real treasure
Is the two-part ‘E’ special instead.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Goodbye Gadhafi

Posted on August 23, 2011 by

With any luck at all we’re finally rid of Moammar Gadhafi. The man looks, acts and was the epitome of an evil dictator. I’m always amazed at how much damage a single individual can do. The challenge now is for Libya to forge a new government. It won’t be easy. It’s a sad truth that many of these third world countries are not ready or able to build democracies. Like Iraq, the descend into old tribal, ethnic and religious rivalry’s. But hope springs eternal and at least we don’t have to look at Gadhafi’s ugly mug anymore.

It looks like Gadhafi is through
And with no last goodbye or adieu,
He’ll run for his life
With his aides and his wife
And I’m hoping his hairdresser too!

Gaddafi Hair

I've seen homeless people look better than this!

Posted in Events | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Perry versus Perry

Posted on August 12, 2011 by

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has decided to run for President. I don’t know what’s worse, that he’s decided to run or that some people  would actually vote for him. In case you missed it, he led Texans in a ‘day of prayer’ at a local stadium. The country needs him like we need another asshole. You’d think one more wouldn’t make a difference but think George W. Bush. 70% of the current deficit is a result of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the Bush tax cuts. He left us in a dark and smelly place. We need more than prayer to get us out.

In Texas where it’s pardner not matey
They think all they do is so weighty.
Like Perry, who thinks he
Is President to be
But the only good Perry is Katy.

Rick Perry

He'll pray for us...

Katy Perry

but we'll pray for her!

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Stock Market Train Wreck

Posted on August 9, 2011 by

Ouch! That is a gross understatement for what’s happening in the Stock Market. In retrospect you can always see the warning signs but that’s just 20-20 hindsight. The market is so emotion driven it’s hard to tell exactly when everyone will panic. At least when they yell “fire!” in a crowded theater you know what’s coming…but it still doesn’t mean you can get out unscathed. All you can do now is wait it out as most of the damage has already been done. Easy to say, hard to do.

The stock market’s causing commotion
And dropping on mostly emotion,
But suffering the rout
If you didn’t get out
Is like watching a wreck in slow motion.


Posted in Events | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment