Replacement Refs? How About Replacement Owners

While the NFL keeps trying to put a positive spin on the replacement referees, the rest of us are not buying it. The games are changing quickly, and not for the better, as players and teams learn how easy it’s becoming to ‘stretch the rules’ with the inexperienced and over-wrought replacements. The latest debacle in Seattle is a precursor of more to come. I don’t know all of what the striking refs are asking for but it can’t be that much because there aren’t that many of them. It always amazes me how even the very rich (NFL team owners) still raise the bar for greed.

The NFL holds tight to its purse
With talk that is singularly terse,
But a casual observer
Sees fans losing fervor
As replacements just keep getting worse.

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Kate’s Breasts Loom Large In Publishing Dispute

Poor William and Kate. Those pesky paparazzi are everywhere! Now that the whole world has seen her topless pictures (or at least those of us who care), they are trying to sue the various publishers.  “I want them jailed,” William told pals.  Sorry dude.  Fame has a price and sometimes you just have to ‘pay the piper’. I guess being rich, famous and heir to the to the throne just ain’t what it used to be.

Prince William and Kate came unglued
When their vacation pictures debuted
In a magazine spread,
Now they’re both seeing red
‘Bout sunbathing outside in the nude.

But we learned from the pictures we viewed
There is only one thing to conclude,
Despite protestation
And high cultivation
It seems that dear Kate is no prude.

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Peyton Manning Is Riding A Bronco

Payton Manning is back and heating it up in Denver! It was a pleasure watching him dissect the Pittsburgh defense. It was quite a coup to bring him to Denver (thank John Elway) and he looks healthy and firing on all cylinders. Needless to say I’m a huge Denver Bronco fan and have been since I was ‘knee high to a duck’. It looks to be a fun and exciting football season!

While none of his doctors said stop
He worried about skills that would drop,
But now Peyton Manning
Is in Denver planning
To play his way back to the top.

 

Peyton Manning Denver Bronco

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Hooters Good But Boobies Bad

Why does it seem that school boards attract more than their share of conservative dunderheads? Maybe because it’s all about the children (sic). An eastern Pennsylvania school board suspended two students for wearing bracelets supporting breast cancer that read “I heart boobies”. They maintain the word boobies is vulgar. Really? They should look it up in the dictionary like the three judge panel did when they ruled in favor of the students. The word boobies is no more offensive than Hooters! A waste of time and money. Throw these bums out!

A school board in Penn. must be newbies
‘Cause instead of a lookout for doobies
They’re trying to ban
As hard as they can
A bracelet that reads “I heart boobies”.

Boobies

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Pussy Riot Is In A Rock Hard Place

Russia is still a bad place. They flaunt democracy while wielding power the same way they’ve done for decades. The trial for the Pussy Riot punk rock band would be a joke if not such a travesty. They are not the first or the last people to suffer at the hands of this repressive government. Freedom of speech will be a long, hard road in Russia. Be careful over there.

The punk band will suffer detention
From their brazen social dissension.
You need to beware
When poking the bear
As you may soon regret it’s attention.

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Enter Paul Ryan, Exit Sanity

The GOP has picked Paul Ryan as the running mate for Mitt Romney. They’re like two pigs in a poke. A couple of multi-millionaires trying to pass themselves off as ‘regular Joe’s’. Not going to happen. These guys are bought and paid for by corporate America. Hopefully, the American public is catching on to the fact that the Republican party is not interested in the well being of the country but only the well being of the Republican party. One can only hope.

With the country in a state of ill health
The Republicans hope via stealth
To win the election
And extend the protection
For those blessed with privilege and wealth.

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Farewell the Olympics

I loved watching the Olympics these past couple of weeks. The competition between countries via their athletes is a testament to sportsmanship and fair play (badminton notwithstanding).  It’s impossible not to be affected by the sheer joy of victory on the face of the athletes when they win for themselves and for country. If only we could resolve all our disputes this way!

The Olympics are a roll of the dice
With the athletes paying the price,
But I hope that we’ve learned
When the games are adjourned
That we still have to try and play nice.

 

Olympic symbol

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The Olympic ‘Hookup’ Games

Here is a good article on the behind the scenes activity in the Olympic village where the athletes stay during the competitions. These are mostly young people at the peak of their physical prowess with pent-up desires after years of self-sacrifice and training so it’s no surprise that after events (and sometimes before) there is some serious partying and sex going on. Sounds like a good plot for a science fiction movie about making the next super race!

The athletes spend so much time training
With schedules so very constraining
That post-competitions
Their predisposition’s
A libido that needs no restraining.

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Ocean Floor For Sale

Let’s face it, North Carolina is about 20 years behind the rest of the nation. I’ve been there often and can attest to this truth. They are one of many states (mostly red) that elevate ignorance to a revered pinnacle. It’s not surprising they are ignoring multiple scientific studies about sea levels rising but to do so at the behest of real estate developers is blatantly self serving and borderline corrupt. This is why we need a strong federal government as too many states are run by dunderheads.

North Carolina has opted to be
The first state to blindly agree
That real estate sales
Can skip the details
And sell you the floor of the sea.

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Facebook Goes Splat!

Everyone’s heard by now about Facebook’s flop in the stock market. I’m not sure what’s worse, the inside information handed out to preferred clients before the IPO or the botched execution that still has not accounted for all the shares. Either way it’s bad news for the investors (idiots) who bought the stock. This was a train wreck from the start and entertaining to watch from the sidelines.

Investors are starting to rant
About Facebook shares that they can’t
Seem to locate
But now it’s too late
‘Cause the price has just done a face-plant.

Face Plant for Facebook

 

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Does North Carolina Have Penis Envy?

North Carolina is the latest state to take on gay marriage. I still cannot understand why this is such a big issue. There is something about sex that drives people nuts.   Some seem to think all of our problems can be solved if we’d just stop and contemplate what our neighbors are doing with their penises. Sheesh!

The people from North Carolina
Give thinking folks cause for angina
‘Cause apparently their God
Would find it quite odd
If you don’t have a taste for vagina.

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China Shows World It’s Blind Spot

Here’s a great story about a Chinese activist who escaped his house arrest and took refuge in the U.S. Embassy. Chen Guangcheng’s  crime was exposing forced abortions in China. Unfortunately, Chinese authorities will punish his relatives because that’s what they do. Despite all the rhetoric about the Chinese economic miracle, they are still a repressive regime of thugs. Which makes it all the better to watch them squirm because…

 

The Chinese were caught in a bind
When their prisoner managed to find
A way to escape
That left them agape
‘Cause it turns out he’s legally blind.

Chen Guangcheng

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The Horrors Of Paying Rent

Here’s a story about a family who moved into a new house only to find that it’s haunted. Needless to say, the landlord was unconvinced and refused to return any of their monies. The most unusual part to this story (other than it’s ALL unusual) is that it took place in Toms River, New Jersey…the sight of the filming of the Amityville Horror movie. Perhaps the ghosts had a contract dispute?

Strange happenings caused them lament
So they moved out to much discontent,
But was the house haunted
Or had they just wanted
To skip out on paying the rent?

 


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Another Black Eye for Apple

I continue to ask why people do business with Apple. They are hell-bent to extract as much money from your pocket as they possibly can…legal or otherwise. The Justice department has now formally accused Apple of price-fixing with several major book publishers. Is it a wonder why there is so much content pirating? These greedy publishers deserve to go the way of the dinosaur and are only delaying the inevitable. As for Apple…

At Apple, the price of e-books
Is not quite as fair as it looks.
Now accused of collusion
The only conclusion
Is behavior more related to crooks.

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Jet Blue Has A Special Effect On Employees

Here is a scary story. A pilot for Jet Blue started acting erratic in the cockpit, flipping switches and otherwise ‘flipping out’. The co-pilot had the presence of mind to get him out of the cockpit and locked the door behind him. He eventually had to be subdued by passengers until the plane could make an emergency landing. It reminds me of the story a year ago about the Jet Blue flight attendant that quit his job in a flourish by grabbing a beer and jumping down the emergency slide. The company seems to have a real affect on it’s employees…and not in a good way.

There are somethings in life you can do
That you might not do again if you knew,
Like flying on jets
If all that it gets
Is a company job with Jet Blue.

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