A Federal Reserve stooge named Herman
Tried givin’ American po’folk a sermon
“If you ain’t rich
Then you one lazy beotch!”
He’s about as subtle as General Sherman.

Now where does Uncle Tom get the nerve
After steppin’ an’ fetchin’ for the Federal Reserve,
The biggest thieves on the earth,
To question anyone’s worth
When unemployment’s on an exponential curve?

Herman says “Lift yourself by your laces!
They’s plenty jobs around for all races!”
But there’s no factories,
‘Cause with Fed subsidies,
They vanished overseas, without traces!

But Herman’s Fed prints out trillions for euro banks,
Then hands the bill to taxpayers, without thanks!
Man, it’s as good as it can get
When you’ve got a license to counterfeit,
And now Herman wants to join the Presidential ranks!

Cain says he’s a foreign policy man
Who’ll need an international plan,
But when put on the spot
Herman had just one thought:
It was “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan”!

At a press conference, Herman was talking
About the immigration plan that he’s hawking
He likes his Mexicans fried
On his border fence electrified,
Which the immigrant community found shocking!

Yes, this former pizza peddler named Cain
Says God told him to get into the campaign
With his 9-9-9 tax plan,
But turn it over and scan
And the “Mark of the Beast” becomes plain!

Something about Herman’s new tax plan seems scammy
Because his V.A.T.’s a middle class double whammy
But he won’t change his stance,
And for his next song and dance
Don’t be shocked if he’s on his knees singin’ “MAMMY!”
(or perhaps “Alan GreenSpammy!”)

So if you want to see America thrive
Instead of just barely survive
Learn all the facts
About Cains V.A.T. tax,
And don’t fall for Herman’s ol’ Shuck n’Jive!

When Herman’s tax plan is laid on the table
It’s apparent that it’s a tax increase fable.
It’s austerity in disguise
Which Herman vehemently denies,
But when asked to prove it, CAIN AIN’T ABLE!
___________________________
Charles Ulysses Feney

A Big TSA Supporter

To those men who are sick of the Nazi TSA
I offer a solution to this affront of the day
Report to the screening, with your boarding pass
Covering your jewels, but baring your ass!

Just take off your clothing, your shoes, and your socks
And go thru security with a well framed buttocks.
Yes, all of us fellows, who are fed up with this crap
Should report for boarding, wearing a smile and a jock strap!

Tightey whiteys or boxers aren’t the means to these ends
And all of you old guy will need to lose the Depends!
But don’t show up naked, or you’ll be under arrest
So just wear a jockstrap to this airport protest

Then refuse the scanner, and opt for the pat down
Just ask for a cleanup on the seat where you sat down.
If they want a good look at what little you’ve protected
Just lift up your package, to get thoroughly inspected!

The crowds will be astonished and totally impressed
Because you’ve made the effort to be minimally dressed.
If you happen to get interviewed by a TV reporter
Be sure to proudly tell them, you’re a big T.S.A. supporter!

Were supposed to be Americans, and not live in fear
Instead of getting felt up from your front to your rear
So show ‘em you’re not gonna stand for this farce
Just put on your jockstrap, and show ‘em your arse!
________________________
Charles Ulysses Feney

A spongy neo-con who calls himself Newt
Has always played the globalist skin flute
He gets on his knees
And does what they please
As he carries their agenda in his chute.

With women, Newt’s always been a smooth dancer
“Replace her with an upgrade” is always his answer
Which caused him, of course
To present his divorce
To his first wife as she lay dying of cancer.

It seems Gingrich didn’t give a hoot
For his family after he gave ‘em the boot
He came up completely short
Never paying child support
For the entire length of the dispute.

Next Newt married a girl named Marianne
Whom he quickly decided to can
When she got a diagnosis
Of Multiple Sclerosis
Which threw a wrench in his political plan!

At the time Marianne announced she was sick
Gingrich was boning his aide, Calista Bisek
Calista played Newts harmonica
As Newt blasted Clinton for gettin’ a Monica
‘Cause hypocrisy has always been Newt’s schtick.
___________________________
Charles Ulysses Feney