Cool Limerick Poems » Politics

Evolution of the GOP

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:00:18 +0000

A new study has the genes of gorillas and apes as closer to man then previously thought. That explains a lot of chest thumping, particularly with the current crop of GOP candidates for President. In apes it’s all a bluff but the GOP would declare war on Twinkies if they thought they could win. So, put two and two together and what do we get…

If apes are now closer to man
I’m thinking that maybe they can
Win an election,
As natural selection
Will still beat the GOP clan.

Santorum Giving God Heartburn

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 11:00:20 +0000

Thankfully, Rick Santorum looks to be out of the GOP race. Not because he’d ever win the Presidency but because every time I read about him “I want to throw up” (in his own words). The guy is another religious wing-nut trying to appeal to the ‘base’ of ignorant conservatives. Even if I was a conservative (never to happen), I’d disassociate myself from the Republican party simply because of the dumb-ass candidates they put forward. God must be upstairs shaking his head “where did I go wrong”?

Santorum has God on the brain
‘Cause he thinks that’s how to obtain
The GOP nod
But he needs more than God
To revive his now sagging campaign.

Florida Finally Gets Politics Right

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:00:19 +0000

Sometimes, not often, we’ll see Conservative’s demonstrate some common sense. Florida’s rejection of Newt Gingrich is one of those times. I don’t have enough adjectives to describe why he’s inappropriate for ANY public office. Unfortunately for the GOP, they’re left with Mitt Romney…the Republican equivalent of John Kerry! Good luck with that.

Florida was trouble for Newt
As Conservatives, rarely astute,
Demonstrated good sense
With a vote to dispense
Of Gingrich and gave him the boot.

Herman Cain Will Have That Order To Go

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:00:01 +0000

Comedians across the country are mourning the loss of Herman Cain from the GOP Presidential race. He was such a good source of material and virtually handed out parody every time he spoke. You have to wonder how this guy ever thought he had a chance. Did he think no one would find out about a 13 year affair? Or the sexual allegation charges from his past? From now on, whenever we hear the name Herman Cain, we won’t be thinking pizza.

It’s the end of the road, Herman Cain
And it’s time to close up your campaign.
You may call it a smear
But to us it’s just clear
You’ve been using more penis than brain.

Super Committee is Super-fluous

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:00:31 +0000

No one seemed to overly concerned about the failure of the ‘super’ committee to address the growing budget deficit. This was a sham before it even got started. Each side picked their loyal henchmen who huffed and puffed until time ran out. If the deficit were made of straw they still couldn’t make a dent in it. Oh well, nothing lost but wasted time and money but then, that’s what Congress does best. Time to move on to the next faux crisis.

The committee that called itself ‘super’
Ended in Congressional stupor
As the task they first greeted
Was left uncompleted
And languishing there in the pooper.

German Bankers Not So Smart After All

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 10:00:45 +0000

The Germans are squirming now! Their banks are the ones who loaned the most money to Greece. So much for German banking prowess. It takes two to make a bad loan, an overstretched borrower and a greedy lender. Greece should abandon the Euro and let the German and French banks eat their losses. Unfortunately, the Government i.e. taxpayers will end up covering the loss for the stupid bankers. This scenario seems to be repeating itself all over the world. Banks need to be strictly regulated as they have proved over and over that they cannot be trusted to act prudently with other peoples money.

The Germans have made a large bet
That Greece would stand up to it’s debt,
But the problem’s not easing
With continual squeezing
In this sovereign game of roulette.

Perry versus Perry

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 10:00:59 +0000

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has decided to run for President. I don’t know what’s worse, that he’s decided to run or that some people would actually vote for him. In case you missed it, he led Texans in a ‘day of prayer’ at a local stadium. The country needs him like we need another asshole. You’d think one more wouldn’t make a difference but think George W. Bush. 70% of the current deficit is a result of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the Bush tax cuts. He left us in a dark and smelly place. We need more than prayer to get us out.

In Texas where it’s pardner not matey
They think all they do is so weighty.
Like Perry, who thinks he
Is President to be
But the only good Perry is Katy.

He'll pray for us...

but we'll pray for her!

Republicans Are Lost In Space

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 10:00:44 +0000

The Republicans have a serious problem and it’s located in the space between their ears. Trying to leverage the Debt Ceiling vote to promote their ideological agenda is arrogant and reckless. It’s ok with them if the country loses as long as their party wins. What we need are real statesmen and what we have are Tea Party boneheads. It has been said we get the government we deserve…nobody deserves this!

Some Reps think it’s time to crash land
The economy while making their stand,
‘Though they might think it sound
And their feet on the ground
They’re leaving their head in the sand.

GOP launches last ounce of common sense into space.

The Future Is Not Bright For Texas

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 10:00:51 +0000

When it comes to stupid politicians, Texas ranks right up there with Arizona. It’s always the ideological conservatives that are at the forefront when the stupid train rolls in. This time it’s a backlash against new energy saving light bulbs. That’s right…light bulbs! They view this as an intrusion of the federal government into everyday life. With all the serious issues surrounding us today you might think there is something more important on which to make a stand. Apparently not for Rep. Joe L. Barton (R-Texas.) who’s leading the repeal effort. He was recently quoted on Fox News: “I do thank the Lord that I live in Texas.” So do we!

The thought of new bulbs is so grim
You’d think they were asked for a limb,
But if knowledge is light
The futures not bright
As the leaders in Texas are dim.

Twitterwood Scandal Comes to a Close as Anthony Weiner Resigns

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:29:55 +0000

One last fond farewell to ex-Congressmen Anthony Weiner. We’ll miss you and those well defined pecs, rock hard abs, smug grin and bulging package. It’s the final weiner joke and you played it on yourself. Fate, karma, cruel justice? Nope…just a man, a mirror, an
iPhone and a Twitter account. It could have happen to any of us.

The Congressman resigned in disgrace
For grossly offending his base.
Even porn stars think rude
When you strip down to nude
And Twitter your junk in their face.