Cool Limerick Poems » Lifestyle

Facebook Sells More Than Your Face

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:00:08 +0000

Facebook is the evil empire! People just don’t get it. This company makes money by ’sharing’ your personal data, not ‘protecting’ it. You need to adopt the mindset that everything you post is available to everyone, or soon will be. The Internet is a wonderful tool…but all the bad guys and unscrupulous marketers think so too.

Facebook and users still clash
Over default controls that will splash
The data that’s yours
To faraway shores
‘Cause privacy comes after cash.

Nissan Recalling the Cube for Being ‘Square’

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 10:00:07 +0000

The Nissan Cube is being recalled in the U.S. They say it’s because of a fuel leak but I think its because this car is butt ugly! I can’t see the attraction in these tiny little boxes. Same goes for the Toyota Scion. These cars are so small that if you get in a crash, a fuel leak is the least of your problems. The Mini Cooper is another very small car but at least it has a little style. Now…how can we make the Cube more appealing?

Nissan’s recalling the Cube
A car that is shaped for a rube.
Give it some flair
By rounding the square
And then we can call it the ‘Boob’.

Nissan Cube

The Most Popular Browser Button?

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:00:18 +0000

The folks who developed the Firefox web browser conducted a study to determine which button received the most user clicks. The study looked at data from 10,000 users and will be used by developers to help provide a better user experience in the next version of Firefox. So which button is the winner?

Your browser has tools that can pack
A punch for the websites that lack
Interesting fare
Or too much hot air,
Just click on the button for ‘Back’.

Just Blowin’ Smoke

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 10:00:04 +0000

Time to call an end to this week and look forward to another vacation. Take care and light one up with me. I’ll be back in a week or so.

The world has it’s troubles afar
Though concerned, I will not let it mar
The weekend ahead.
I’ll settle instead
For the joy of a hand-rolled cigar!

fyi...not me

Why Law Schools Lack Integrity

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 10:00:56 +0000

This practice of law schools inflating their students grades to bolster the schools reputation is a disgrace! What they’re really trying to do is justify the preposterous tuition they charge to get a degree. Those who have to depend on financial aid (translation: soul-sucking debt) to pay this tuition have a huge hurdle to overcome the minute they graduate. So the schools response is to artificially boost everyone’s grades to help them get a job and enhance the schools reputation. As I said…disgraceful…utterly disgraceful!

The law schools are making their case
For helping their students to chase
The ‘cream of the crop’
For the jobs at the top
To justify loans that they face.

Viagra for Women, A Dream Come True

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 10:00:47 +0000

Viagra for women…woo hoo! Except for the fact that it doesn’t work very well. Seems the FDA was not bowled over by the test results. And what a test it must have been. Over and over with different size doses…was it good for you now…was it good for you now…was it good for you now?

If Viagra for women should work
It would be a most wondrous perk.
To give up the bad line
‘Cause she’d never decline
Would prevent us from being the jerk.

Cool New ‘Almost’ Hoverboard

Fri, 28 May 2010 10:00:15 +0000

This French artist has created a real, working hoverboard just like the one in Back to the Future. Well…sort of. It works real well as long as you don’t stand on it. What’s cool is the laser stabilization. Check out the video and watch at the end as he gives it a push. It bounces just like the real thing. All you engineers need to get busy. I want one of these by Christmas.

A skateboard that you can propel
Through the air with just legs to impel?
Although it can hover
You’re soon to discover
This replica’s just show and tell.

HOVERBOARD – NILS GUADAGNIN from nils guadagnin on Vimeo.

I Hear New York, I Think Pizza

Fri, 21 May 2010 10:00:16 +0000

The idea of making a New York style pizza at home is a dream…no…more of a fantasy. Their crust is so much better than anything I can make. Is it the wood fired pizza ovens that can get up to 1000 degrees (our ovens maybe get to 550)? Or maybe the starter yeast and flour? Some even say the water (ridiculous). All I know is the crust makes the pizza and New York City’s crust reigns supreme. I love New York…pizza!

A Pizzaiolo who seems in the know
Has a method to take his yeast slow.
He’s keen to advise
An overnight rise
As the secret is all in the dough.

Customer Service vs. Testicular Rearrangement

Wed, 12 May 2010 10:00:02 +0000

Here’s something a little different than my normal nonsensical crap. We’ve all been dehumanized by the denizens that inhabit the world of customer service. The endless menus, the annoying “your call is important to us” messages and the stark realization that when you finally get a human, English is their fourth language. The Oatmeal (yeah…weird name but it’s a weird site) has succinctly captured the experience. Enjoy!

While you might think this guy is a putz
Or perhaps a technology klutz,
Calling for help
Is worse than the yelp
At a fist that is mangling his nuts.

Shoes Never Looked This Good

Fri, 07 May 2010 10:00:09 +0000

Everyone knows that sex sells. In which case this Reebok ad should do really well. Helena Christensen is showing as much skin as she possible can without auditioning for Playboy! She actually looks so good we can’t take our eyes off her to see what the heck the ad is selling. Is it shoes, tanning products, hair coloring or …

What her head-to-toe skin will impel
The viewer to buy...we can't tell.
Although they could use
This ad to sell shoes
They could sell us the ladder as well.