Facebook is the evil empire! People just don’t get it. This company makes money by ’sharing’ your personal data, not ‘protecting’ it. You need to adopt the mindset that everything you post is available to everyone, or soon will be. The Internet is a wonderful tool…but all the bad guys and unscrupulous marketers think so too.
Facebook and users still clash
Over default controls that will splash
The data that’s yours
To faraway shores
‘Cause privacy comes after cash.
The Nissan Cube is being recalled in the U.S. They say it’s because of a fuel leak but I think its because this car is butt ugly! I can’t see the attraction in these tiny little boxes. Same goes for the Toyota Scion. These cars are so small that if you get in a crash, a fuel leak is the least of your problems. The Mini Cooper is another very small car but at least it has a little style. Now…how can we make the Cube more appealing?
Nissan’s recalling the Cube
A car that is shaped for a rube.
Give it some flair
By rounding the square
And then we can call it the ‘Boob’.
The folks who developed the Firefox web browser conducted a study to determine which button received the most user clicks. The study looked at data from 10,000 users and will be used by developers to help provide a better user experience in the next version of Firefox. So which button is the winner?
Your browser has tools that can pack
A punch for the websites that lack
Interesting fare
Or too much hot air,
Just click on the button for ‘Back’.
This practice of law schools inflating their students grades to bolster the schools reputation is a disgrace! What they’re really trying to do is justify the preposterous tuition they charge to get a degree. Those who have to depend on financial aid (translation: soul-sucking debt) to pay this tuition have a huge hurdle to overcome the minute they graduate. So the schools response is to artificially boost everyone’s grades to help them get a job and enhance the schools reputation. As I said…disgraceful…utterly disgraceful!
The law schools are making their case
For helping their students to chase
The ‘cream of the crop’
For the jobs at the top
To justify loans that they face.
Viagra for women…woo hoo! Except for the fact that it doesn’t work very well. Seems the FDA was not bowled over by the test results. And what a test it must have been. Over and over with different size doses…was it good for you now…was it good for you now…was it good for you now?
If Viagra for women should work
It would be a most wondrous perk.
To give up the bad line
‘Cause she’d never decline
Would prevent us from being the jerk.
This French artist has created a real, working hoverboard just like the one in Back to the Future. Well…sort of. It works real well as long as you don’t stand on it. What’s cool is the laser stabilization. Check out the video and watch at the end as he gives it a push. It bounces just like the real thing. All you engineers need to get busy. I want one of these by Christmas.
A skateboard that you can propel
Through the air with just legs to impel?
Although it can hover
You’re soon to discover
This replica’s just show and tell.
The idea of making a New York style pizza at home is a dream…no…more of a fantasy. Their crust is so much better than anything I can make. Is it the wood fired pizza ovens that can get up to 1000 degrees (our ovens maybe get to 550)? Or maybe the starter yeast and flour? Some even say the water (ridiculous). All I know is the crust makes the pizza and New York City’s crust reigns supreme. I love New York…pizza!
A Pizzaiolo who seems in the know
Has a method to take his yeast slow.
He’s keen to advise
An overnight rise
As the secret is all in the dough.
Here’s something a little different than my normal nonsensical crap. We’ve all been dehumanized by the denizens that inhabit the world of customer service. The endless menus, the annoying “your call is important to us” messages and the stark realization that when you finally get a human, English is their fourth language. The Oatmeal (yeah…weird name but it’s a weird site) has succinctly captured the experience. Enjoy!
While you might think this guy is a putz
Or perhaps a technology klutz,
Calling for help
Is worse than the yelp
At a fist that is mangling his nuts.
Everyone knows that sex sells. In which case this Reebok ad should do really well. Helena Christensen is showing as much skin as she possible can without auditioning for Playboy! She actually looks so good we can’t take our eyes off her to see what the heck the ad is selling. Is it shoes, tanning products, hair coloring or …
What her head-to-toe skin will impel
The viewer to buy...we can't tell.
Although they could use
This ad to sell shoes
They could sell us the ladder as well.
This is my attempt at a public service announcement laced with blatant self-promotion. Mothers Day is this Sunday and, unless your Mom lives in the same town, you need to get her gift in the mail soon. Then there’s my wife who
expects a gift even though she’s not my mother. No problem. Mothers are the unsung heroes of the world. Where would we be without them?
With Mother’s Day coming next week
It’s time to be taking a peek,
At my Amazon store
‘Cause she deserves more
Than a card or a kiss on the cheek.
Check out this cool video of a camera mounted on a remote controlled helicopter. Excellent video footage! Imagine what a paparazzi could do with this setup. Zoom quietly (electric powered) over the target and start filming. I wonder if the Army uses these. They’re cheap, quiet and functional. Probably not…the cheap part doesn’t work for the government.
Your privacy just said goodbye
As the Helicam slowly glides by.
It’s not quite as small
As a fly on the wall
But it works as a spy in the sky.
Here’s another example of the ‘nanny’ government in California. A Board of Supervisors with an overarching sense of self importance wants to ban the toys in Happy Meals because they attract children. So does Ronald McDonald but I don’t see him on the list? These self-righteous people are implicitly claiming we cannot manage our own children. It’s sad, embarrassing and ridiculous. The only thing we’re not managing properly is who we’re electing to the Board of Supervisors. This farce is happening in Silicon Valley which gives me an idea…
Their self-serving stand is uncanny
And their talk is straight out of their fanny.
Next stop is the chapel
Of almighty Apple
To ask if they’ll make an iNanny.
Lookout! There’s a another do-gooder Congressman looking to save us from ourselves. Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) wants the FDA to regulate the salt content in food because he thinks we eat too much. We already have the salt content labeled on all packaged food…isn’t that enough? If we decide to eat food high in salt…so be it. It’s my choice so get off of my dinner plate!
It’s another do-gooder assault
By self-righteous people whose fault
Can only be cured
When their voice is obscured,
So shutup and please pass the salt.
Check out this article on the new KFC Double Down Sandwich. It’s obvious this is not a health food product but the guy who wrote this article is over the top. You can’t blame the companies for what people put in their mouths. People have a choice, a wide choice, and they use it. If they’re obese, their choices are obvious. As for the KFC Double Down Sandwich…I’ll pass.
I can sense the frustration with food
But don’t think that it warrants a feud.
Just being obese
Doesn’t threaten the peace,
The real harm is in seeing them nude.
