Cool Limerick Poems » Investing

A Stock Market Rally By Any Other Name

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:00:41 +0000

The Stock Market is on a tear the last few days with another hollow promise from our fearless leaders. A group of Central Bankers have indicated they will act swiftly if things start going to sh*t. I don’t know whether to be relieved they’re on alert or concerned that they HAVE to be on alert. I think the market just wants a Santa Clause rally come hell or high water. Or maybe instead of a rally, what we all really want…

With Central Banks planning injection
The stock markets reached an inflection.
We hope it’s inspired
And not overly tired
To regain a growing erection.

UBS Means ‘U Better Sell’

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 10:00:18 +0000

UBS is a bank in trouble. After losing billions on bad mortgages, they respond with a dress code that dictates the color of women’s underwear and the shaving habits for men. Talk about missing the point! Now a ‘rogue’ trader takes them to the cleaners for another $2.3 billion. Their CEO has created a culture of arrogance that fosters incompetence but he doesn’t think it’s his fault. Classic case of denying responsibility when things go bad (but we’re sure he’ll take all the credit when things turn around). Short answer…throw the bum out!

UBS is a real work of art
With losses that have at their heart
A focus on looks
Instead of their books
Cause they’re only just dressing the part.

French Banks Getting Greece’d Up

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 13:25:26 +0000

Looks like we’re in store for another wild ride in the Stock market. Europe’s debt woes are rapidly approaching some form of end game…I hope. The ECB and European banks are still pretending that Greece is ok and will eventually recover. I think they’re just buying time to prepare for a hard landing. Now Moody’s is finally getting around to downgrading the banks (nobody ever accused them of an excess of foresight). It’s like a game of musical chairs except when the music stops, more than one chair will be missing!

Downgrading the banks is now pending
For all of their profligate lending.
With no Golden Fleece
Anywhere in Greece
All that’s left is an unhappy ending.

Apple Taking a New Direction?

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 11:00:23 +0000

Now here’s an unusual headline “Apple CEO Jobs Takes Medical Leave, Cook to Fill In”. I figured Jobs had a good handle on the company but to turn it over to kitchen help? Early rumors are the iPad will soon be able to brew coffee. Look out Starbucks.

I guess that his job is akin
To following a recipe to win,
Else why for this task
Would they bother to ask
The executive Cook to fill in.

Apple Wants Too Much of the Pie

Thu, 16 Sep 2010 10:00:35 +0000

Apple is trying to talk newspapers into a deal to put them on the iPad. The only problem is the onerous terms. They want 30% of subscription revenue and 40% for ads! That’s not even a realistic starting point. For a company that has consumers falling all over themselves, these guys are as greedy as Wall Street.

While Apple’s portrayed as redeeming
Their efforts are just normal scheming.
The newspaper guys
Were quick to surmise,
If they hope to make money they’re dreaming.

Job Hunting Still Tough

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 10:00:30 +0000

The payrolls report on Friday continued to show lackluster hiring. This has been the modus operendi ever since the start of the Bush administration. I think outsourcing has permanently reduced a significant number of jobs in this country. How will we replace them? Innovation is the favorite buzz word but even new technologies won’t help because we’ve outsourced all the manufacturing. I see difficult times continuing.

With unemployment coming in high
The jobless just shrug off and sigh,
With too many to blame
It’s back to the game
Of apply and apply and apply.

More Slime at the Top of the Corporate Ladder

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 10:00:22 +0000

Mark Hurd, former CEO of HP, is the new poster boy of corporate excess and greed. What ever happened to leadership? Once these guys get the reins of power they all begin to systematically loot the company. What about the Board of Directors? Aren’t they supposed to represent shareholders? Unfortunately, they’re mostly ex-CEO’s and other top officials that have approved these same egregious excesses at other companies. They’re selected for just that skill. Despite all the books you may see, business leadership is an oxymoron.

With success gone straight to his head
He lavished himself with a spread
Of restaurants and planes
And all tax-free gains,
While employees and stockholders bled.

Big Business Whining

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:00:33 +0000

Steve Forbes thinks the Obama administration is anti-business. I prefer to think of it as pro-constituent. Big business, when left to their own devices, drives greed to excess. They describe it as ‘shareholder value’ but shareholders always seem to get the short end of the stick. When the stock goes down, management still gets paid..with generous bonuses I might add. What Mr. Forbes fails to realize is that business leaders have lost a good measure of credibility over the past several years. Thus, their complaints about ‘anti-business’ policies mostly land on deaf ears.

Steve Forbes has a view of the past
Where too many villains are cast
In business at large,
But they earned the charge
With avarice and greed unsurpassed.

Ben Spooks the Market

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 10:00:48 +0000

I always hate when Ben Bernanke talks to Congress. Too many ignorant Congressmen asking too many self-serving questions and before you know it, Ben’s says something slightly negative and investors all swoon. It’s like sheep leading other sheep right over the edge. Instead, we should act like cows and keep chewing until someone knocks us over. I have no idea what that means.

Bernanke gave Congress a talk
About the Fed and protecting the flock
But investors instead,
Overcome with dread,
Sent the stock market down like a rock.

Is Tesla The New Delorean?

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 10:00:52 +0000

The new electric car maker Tesla went public today on the Nasdaq stock exchange. It’s stock rose 40% on the first day. They’re going to need all the help they can get. Their electric cars sell for $80,000 with a paltry number of dealers that can repair them. With all the hybrids on the market, I fail to see how they can gain any significant traction in a super competitive car market. Anyone remember the Delorean?

The IPO (i-po) for Tesla went well
After ringing the opening bell.
Though profits aren’t there
Stockholders don’t care
They’re betting this new car will sell.

DeLorean

Tesla Roadster