Cool Limerick Poems » Entertainment

Cracking The Nipple Slip Code

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:00:22 +0000

Celebrity wardrobe malfunctions are manna from heaven for photographers. Just add a little black bar over the offending parts and they’re good as gold. However, not all ‘parts’ are created equal so it helps to know the rules. That’s why I’m here.

While nipples are clearly benign
Their pictures are over the line.
Underwear too
Has it’s pictures taboo
But butt cracks are apparently fine.

Argentina Adds Steam to Dancing With The Stars

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:00:00 +0000

The Argentinians really know how to dance! Being the home of the Tango, it must be in their blood. Combine that with the passion of Latin lovers and you get the Argentine version of ‘Dancing With The Stars’. They put us to shame…or is it the other way around? Check out the link above for the whole dance and the video below for the judges reaction. I don’t think ‘nipple slip’ is in their vocabulary.

The Roman themed dance that they chose
Was part steamy and part grandiose,
Especially the ending
That some found offending
As she finished without any clothes!

Kim Kardashian Weds What’s-His-Name

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 10:00:56 +0000

Aren’t we all excited about Kim Kardashian’s wedding? Nope…nada…shoot me in the head! She is a classic example of someone who is famous for almost being famous. No discernible skills or talents other than…getting dressed? Her wedding was a glitzy affair by all accounts and she remarked “”Glam aside, that wasn’t our main goal. It was really about our family and each other.” How sweet. Not to mention the People magazine exclusive to ‘every delicious detail’ of the wedding. And if that’s not enough…

This weekend saw Kim getting wed
And afterwards smiling she said,
“It’s the families together”
But I think the real treasure
Is the two-part ‘E’ special instead.

Rachel Uchitel is Elin’s Nemesis

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 10:00:26 +0000

Rachel Uchitel must be Elin Nordegren’s worst nightmare. First, she slept with ex-husband Tiger Woods. Now it seems she slept with Elin’s new boyfriend as well. They apparently had a fling while negotiating a business deal. This girl is a professional…although at what exactly I don’t know. Regardless, she sure knows how to leverage her assets.

She seems to display quite a knack
With other girls men in the sack.
Her business gets done
While she’s having fun
‘Cause her best deals are made on her back.

Hop and Skip Quickly Away from Hop

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 10:00:50 +0000

The kids movie ‘Hop’ is trying to bring the Easter Bunny some more recognition but I don’t think it will get very far. According to these two kids it was ‘boring and stupid’. I haven’t seen the movie (and probably never will) but I did see the preview in which the Easter Bunny ‘makes’ jellybeans. I’ve owned too many rabbits to think this is cute or funny.

The Easter Bunny once in a while
Will squat down and give us a smile
Cause he knows with a push
That out of his tush
Will come a fresh jellybean pile.

Charlie Sheen Acting Like Charlie Sheen

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 11:00:49 +0000

No sooner do I defend Charlie Sheen then he’s shooting his mouth off at one of the co-creators of Two and a Half Men. With words like “stupid”, “maggot” and “earthworm” there seems little chance for constructive discourse. The creators responded to his rant by canceling the show for the rest of the season. Now it’s gets petty and many people will lose money. Sometimes silence really is golden.

Now Charlie has started a fight
With the shows co-creator that might
Keep the show off the air,
Now we’re caught in the snare
Of a clashing of egos and spite.

Check out this selection of Charlie Sheen posters…for display or darts!

Let Charlie Sheen be Charlie Sheen

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 11:00:09 +0000

I hope everyone’s done picking on Charlie Sheen. He is certainly no saint but who is…and who would want to be? The guy knows how to live large and for those that don’t agree with his lifestyle…who cares? Many people like to see celebrities fall and Charlie Sheen sometimes looks like a slow-motion train wreck but his friends and co-stars stick with him. That tells you something about the man that we on the outside don’t know.

His relationships seem a bit gnarley
And he still likes his girls and his Harley,
So don’t count him out when
There’s Two and a Half Men
‘Cause the sheen hasn’t yet worn off Charlie.

DVDs for Two and a Half Men

Who Keeps Stealing Charlie Sheen’s Car?

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 11:00:11 +0000

Charlie Sheen seems to have a tough time with auto thieves. They keep stealing his car and driving it into ditches and over cliffs. They must be the worlds worst car thieves! He doesn’t even realize when it happens…which probably accounts for why it happens in the first place.

Seems Charlie keeps leaving his keys
In his car which is stolen with ease,
But his excuses confound
When his car is then found
In a ditch or smashed into some trees.

Back in June 2010, Sheen's Mercedes Benz was stolen and plunged over the side of a cliff -- for the second time that year. Los Angeles Police Department officials say that a security guard spotted the luxury car about 100 feet over the side of a cliff on Mulholland Drive just before 3 a.m. on June 15. Officials ran the plates and found the car was registered to Charlie Sheen. When police contacted the actor, he said he didn't know the car had been missing. The last time he saw his vehicle was at 4 p.m. that Monday afternoon. It turns out Sheen had left his keys in the car, just like he did four months earlier when his Mercedes was found upside-down at the bottom of a ditch in the same area.

Credits: Ruelas/AP

Stephen J. Cannell We’ll Remember You Well

Mon, 04 Oct 2010 10:00:26 +0000

Television producer Stephen J. Cannell, known for his work on shows including “The Rockford Files” and “The A-Team,” died last Thursday at age 69. He created and produced several other iconic TV shows including “Greatest American Hero,”Hunter,” “Riptide,” “Hardcastle & McCormick,” “21 Jump Street,” “Wiseguy,” “The Commish,” “Profit,” and syndicated shows “Renegade” and “Silk Stalkings.” What I remember most however, was his unique sign-off. Sometimes it’s the little things that stick.

Though the A-Team was often defying
And Rockford was often denying,
From Stephen Cannell
I remember most well
His sign-off that sent paper flying.

How to Replace an American Idol

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:00:18 +0000

American Idol is in a mad scramble to try and replace Simon Cowell. To no avail. He is a unique individual and no amount of ‘star power’ will fill that void. Jennifer Lopez is at least nice to look at but Steven Tyler?…he’s scary. The show was getting a bit long in the tooth anyway. Time for something new.

Despite ‘tude and some sass from J. Lo
And Tyler’s background as a pro,
They’re still a debasement
As Simons replacement
So instead I’ll be watching his show.