Cool Limerick Poems » Entertainment

Glenn Beck’s Slime is Slipping

Wed, 19 May 2010 10:00:37 +0000

Looks like Glenn Beck is losing some viewers for his daily gab fest. I shouldn’t worry to much. It seems that too many people actually get dumber as they get older instead of wiser. I don’t now why that is but it bodes well for the Glenn Becks and Sarah Palins of the world. Take a load of misinformation, mix liberally with fear and angst then sprinkle with a dash of anti-gay, anti-immigration fairy dust and voila!…obsequious minions (more commonly known as monkey-brained followers).

Seems FOX has some trouble with Beck
His ratings are hitting the deck.
But his minions don’t mind
They’re still flying blind
To exalt in his daily train wreck.

Porn Comes to the iPad

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 10:00:42 +0000

One of the worlds biggest porn companies has figured out how to stream video to the new iPad, bypassing the Apple Store and it’s salacious content rules. This isn’t the first time the porn industry has led the way into a new technology. Their dedicated fan base (90% of adult males) insures they have the money to search for ever more varied and efficient methods of delivering content. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you can’t argue with their impact.

It’s funny, the people porn shocks
Don’t know it’s technology ‘rocks’.
Just showing some muff
Is not good enough,
You have to think ‘outside’ the box.

Dancing With the Dollar Signs

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 10:00:41 +0000

I don’t watch Dancing With the Stars but found this article amusing. Why is Kate Gosselin still on the show despite her terrible dancing? The simple answer is her fan base. They keep voting for her because they like her. A more realistic answer is the producers like her too! She brings in the ratings despite her dancing skills…or lack thereof. Reality shows are just another manifestation of the true reality of the entertainment business…networks need to make money.

The reality shows where you vote
Surreptitiously try to promote
The contestant they see
As the best for TV
In the hope we don’t use our remote.

Jesse James is April’s Fool

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 10:00:12 +0000

Looks like Jesse James will be entering rehab just like Tiger. I didn’t know they had a rehab clinic for ‘uncontrollable urges to have sex with tattooed covered strippers’. I think I might have that too but, can’t be sure as there aren’t any tattooed strippers in the places I visit (my wife makes sure of that). What I can say is a big heartfelt “who cares!”. The only useful thing that comes out of these celebrity trysts is fodder for more limericks.

He was caught with a wild tattooed chick
So his PR’s now calling him sick.
But like Captain Ahab
There is no rehab
For obsession with a Moby Dick.

Bewildered by Sarah Palin

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 10:00:07 +0000

Look out! Sarah Palin’s coming back to TV with a new show on TLC. At least they kept her back in Alaska. The new show’s title is ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’. How original. This article had some great ideas for a better name. I shamelessly stole one for my punch line. Have a good weekend.

Sarah Palin continues to bless
Giving more of the same but less.
Back on TV
She’s on TLC,
With a new show ‘The Bewilderness’

Jesse James Scandal vs. Tiger Woods

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 10:00:55 +0000

I thought Tiger did a poor job of selecting mistresses but Jesse James has done him one better. A tattooed, divorced, single mom stripper. Not that there’s anything wrong with that per se, but not exactly the makings for a rocket career trajectory. If in doubt about her motives, just look how fast she gave it all up to the gossip rags. I always thought a Payday was a candy bar but these girls have got it the other way around. Take care of the ‘candy bar’ and get a pay day.

Jesse James is the new King of Shame
A title that bore Tiger’s name.
In a contest of fools
Who can’t mind their tools,
The victory is no claim to fame.

It’s two-fer Tuesday…

What a mess Sandra Bullock is in
And it comes on the heels of her win.
Because money and fame
Attract the inane,
The surprise is not ‘if’ but ‘when’.

The Ides of March is Coming

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:00:22 +0000

I just finished a good series of books about Julius Caesar by Conn Iggulden. I like to read history but it’s usually too dry so I opt for historical fiction. A good author like Conn, can create a story around historical events and people that makes it much more interesting and downright entertaining.

I’ve wandered off in this direction as March begins because the Ides of March was the day Caesar was killed (not only Brutus but a whole bunch of others participated…see how much I learned!). “Beware the Ides of March” was supposedly told to Caesar as warning of his future death. Who knows if it’s really true but even historians can’t resist a good catch-phrase.

Julius Caesar influenced afar,
With his name as the source for a ‘Czar’.
An Oscar award
With Brando aboard
Then made him a Hollywood star.

Emperor: The Gates of Rome: A Novel of Julius Caesar (The Emperor Series)

Emperor: The Death of Kings: A Novel of Julius Caesar (The Emperor Series)

Emperor: The Field of Swords (The Emperor)

Emperor: The Gods of War: A Novel of Julius Caesar

Sarah Silverman’s New Line of Deoderant

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 11:00:54 +0000

I stumbled across this picture and had to write a limerick about it. I think Sarah Silverman is hilarious! She’s got a no-holds-barred, weird sense of humor that I can relate too.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. ~Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts,” Saturday Night Live

Sarah Silverman likes to disarm
With hers looks and her smile and her charm.
But she’s wicked with wit
Case in point that tidbit,
Of cream cheese tucked under her arm.

NBC Buys New Desk for $45 Million

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:00:21 +0000

Once the dust settles, we’ll be right back where we started with Jay Leno and the Tonight show. NBC can’t figure out what went wrong with his new show. They think it was the earlier time slot. Wrong…the show was missing the desk! Having Jay and the guest sitting in those butt ugly chairs like they were in my living room was a non-starter. There was nothing to lean on, bounce a pencil or hold a coffee cup. So instead of spending a few hundred dollars on a new desk, the brass at NBC buy-out Conan O’Brian for $45 million to get his desk. Needless to say, these guys are not the ’sharpest pencils in the box’.

NBC has been slogging away
To get back the old time slot for Jay.
You can have what you will
For forty-five mil.
That’s the size of Conan’s payday

Simon Leaving American Idol

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:00:25 +0000

News flash! Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol. So much for that show! Simon’s opinion was all that mattered. You could see it in the contestants and the audience. Lots of chatter until time for Simon to speak then all went quiet to hear his opinion. The rest of the judges are stuff and fluff. No worries though. It will all migrate to his new X-Factor show because, let’s face it, we can’t get enough of tone deaf people who are clueless to their own lack of talent.

The news struck with a force that was tidal
As the action being almost homicidal,
‘Cause the show can’t go on
When the catalyst is gone.
It’s simple, Simon says he’ll leave Idol.