Herman Cain Will Have That Order To Go

Comedians across the country are mourning the loss of Herman Cain from the GOP Presidential race. He was such a good source of material and virtually handed out parody every time he spoke. You have to wonder how this guy ever thought he had a chance. Did he think no one would find out about a 13 year affair? Or the sexual allegation charges from his past? From now on, whenever we hear the name Herman Cain, we won’t be thinking pizza.

It’s the end of the road, Herman Cain
And it’s time to close up your campaign.
You may call it a smear
But to us it’s just clear
You’ve been using more penis than brain.

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One Response to Herman Cain Will Have That Order To Go

  1. Charles Ulysses Feney says:

    Cain Ain’t Able

    A Federal Reserve stooge named Herman
    Tried givin’ American po’folk a sermon
    “If you ain’t rich
    Then you one lazy beotch!”
    He’s about as subtle as General Sherman.

    Now where does Uncle Tom get the nerve
    After steppin’ an’ fetchin’ for the Federal Reserve,
    The biggest thieves on the earth,
    To question anyone’s worth
    When unemployment’s on an exponential curve?

    Herman says “Lift yourself by your laces!
    They’s plenty jobs around for all races!”
    But there’s no factories,
    ‘Cause with Fed subsidies,
    They vanished overseas, without traces!

    But Herman’s Fed prints out trillions for euro banks,
    Then hands the bill to taxpayers, without thanks!
    Man, it’s as good as it can get
    When you’ve got a license to counterfeit,
    And now Herman wants to join the Presidential ranks!

    Cain says he’s a foreign policy man
    Who’ll need an international plan,
    But when put on the spot
    Herman had just one thought:
    It was “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan”!

    At a press conference, Herman was talking
    About the immigration plan that he’s hawking
    He likes his Mexicans fried
    On his border fence electrified,
    Which the immigrant community found shocking!

    Yes, this former pizza peddler named Cain
    Says God told him to get into the campaign
    With his 9-9-9 tax plan,
    But turn it over and scan
    And the “Mark of the Beast” becomes plain!

    Something about Herman’s new tax plan seems scammy
    Because his V.A.T.’s a middle class double whammy
    But he won’t change his stance,
    And for his next song and dance
    Don’t be shocked if he’s on his knees singin’ “MAMMY!”
    (or perhaps “Alan GreenSpammy!”)

    So if you want to see America thrive
    Instead of just barely survive
    Learn all the facts
    About Cains V.A.T. tax,
    And don’t fall for Herman’s ol’ Shuck n’Jive!

    When Herman’s tax plan is laid on the table
    It’s apparent that it’s a tax increase fable.
    It’s austerity in disguise
    Which Herman vehemently denies,
    But when asked to prove it, CAIN AIN’T ABLE!
    ___________________________
    Charles Ulysses Feney

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