June 30, 2010
Filed under: Investing — @ 3:00 am
The new electric car maker Tesla went public today on the Nasdaq stock exchange. It’s stock rose 40% on the first day. They’re going to need all the help they can get. Their electric cars sell for $80,000 with a paltry number of dealers that can repair them. With all the hybrids on the market, I fail to see how they can gain any significant traction in a super competitive car market. Anyone remember the Delorean?
The IPO (i-po) for Tesla went well
After ringing the opening bell.
Though profits aren’t there
Stockholders don’t care
They’re betting this new car will sell.
DeLorean
Tesla Roadster
June 29, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
The Supreme Court has said a complete ban on handguns is unconstitutional. This goes against many cities and communities who wanted to ban handguns to reduce violence. The problem is twofold. First, banning handguns does not reduce violent crime. Criminals get guns whenever they want them. Second, the constitution specifically calls out the right to bear arms. Seems like a no-brainer to me. I don’t own a gun but I still want the right to get one should I so desire.
Though cities and some states might frown
The Supreme Court’s decision was sound.
They ignored the alarms
To “keep and bear arms”
And voted to shoot the ban down.
June 28, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
The USA’s Wold Cup dreams came crashing down on Saturday. A tough loss to Ghana ended their run. They had their chances and played well but a couple of defensive mistakes sealed their fate. I did not realized until afterward that Ghana booted us out of the tournament last time as well (2006). That’s the making of a serious grudge but it’ll have to wait until the next World Cup in 2014.
The strikers from Ghana made moot
Of the USA’s World Cup pursuit.
Though tied at the end
We could not defend
And their last goal then gave us the boot.
The referee’s did another particularly poor job in both the Germany-England and Argentina-Mexico games. They keep missing key plays that can easily affect the outcome of the game. A clear goal by England was dissallowed because the ref couldn’t see it. The time has passed to use technology to review key plays. FIFA needs to get off their high horse and get with the program for the good of the game.
Germany had England in the hole
By quickly twice finding their goal.
Then an English comeback
Ran sadly off track
When the ref missed a goal off the pole.
June 25, 2010
Filed under: Events, Sports — @ 3:00 am
Once again Japan stands alone in opposing any restriction or ban on whaling. There is no reason to hunt whales. Not for oil or meat or anything else. It’s a small group of stubborn people in a small, stubborn nation. If you could get people to boycott Toyota’s or Playstation’s then this practice would end in a heartbeat. That’s not likely to happen so all we have left is the Sea Sheperds. I’ll bet their show on TLC will be renewed for another couple of seasons.
Japan seems intent upon whaling
Though all of the world is still railing
Against the abuse
Of the ‘research’ excuse,
It gives the Sea Shepard’s clear sailing.
No post is complete without a World Cup Limerick. Best of luck to my fans in Ghana…you’ll need it!
The U.S. and Ghana will meet
In a World Cup match to compete
For a chance to advance
And surely enhance
Their place in the Football elite.
June 24, 2010
Filed under: Investing, Sports — @ 3:00 am
The FOMC decided today to keep interest rates steady. No big surprise given the headwinds to growth (e.g. Europe) and the lack of new jobs. We seem to be in a holding pattern waiting for the next ray of sunshine or the other shoe to drop. So let’s all stop agonizing about a future we can’t see anyway and celebrate the big win for the U.S. Soccer team!
Seems keeping rates low is just fine
As Bernanke today did opine.
With growth that’s still slow
And jobs a no-show
The fear is we wither on the vine.
In the World Cup the U.S. won big
And left us all dancing a jig.
They made us all sweat
Before finding the net,
Now we’re off to the knockout round gig.
Landon Donovan
June 23, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
It’s hard to understand why some people do what they do. Take General Stanley McChrystal, commander of coalition forces in Afghanistan. He talks to a reporter from the Rolling Stone magazine as if they’re long time confidants. Did he think no one would read the article where he blasts the President’s Afghanistan team? My only conclusion is ‘brain fart’. A temporary disconnect of the brain from the mouth. Unfortunately, this one’s likely to get a lot worse than it smells.
With the Generals’ supporters at loss
His career will be gathering moss.
It’s hard to construe
‘Cause surely he knew
Rolling Stone would be read by his boss.
June 22, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
This practice of law schools inflating their students grades to bolster the schools reputation is a disgrace! What they’re really trying to do is justify the preposterous tuition they charge to get a degree. Those who have to depend on financial aid (translation: soul-sucking debt) to pay this tuition have a huge hurdle to overcome the minute they graduate. So the schools response is to artificially boost everyone’s grades to help them get a job and enhance the schools reputation. As I said…disgraceful…utterly disgraceful!
The law schools are making their case
For helping their students to chase
The ‘cream of the crop’
For the jobs at the top
To justify loans that they face.
June 21, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
I warned you more World Cup soccer limericks were coming. Here’s a new batch based on the most recent results. Enjoy!
France has had a lot of success in prior World Cup tournaments so they don’t take losing lightly…
The World Cup is just like a dance
Where all of the girls have a chance.
In the past they won all
But this time they fall
As Mexico beats mighty France.
The French team is losing the race
To advance and extend their Cup chase.
The teams disarray
Is now on display
With no thought of losing with grace.
The US made a great comeback against Slovenia and should have won except for a blown call by the referee. They need to win their next game to advance (or have England lose). It’s not over yet!
The U.S. was thought to be dead
As down 2 was too big a spread.
But a second half rally
Evened the tally
So they’re still hanging on by a thread.
Germany is another strong team that has struggled to show their dominance. They’re not in as bad shape as France but their last loss to Serbia was a shocker and should be a wake-up call.
Serbia’s Group of Death feat
Has got to be tasting so sweet.
Twas a goalie who caught
A penalty shot
And the Germans went down to defeat.
Italy were the winners in the last World Cup but have struggled this time with two ties. They need a win to advance to the next level (or a tie and a New Zealand loss).
Italy, another big name
Has yet to bring on their best game.
Their points total two
So you have to construe
Their championship play has gone lame.
June 18, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
It’s interesting sometimes what flies under the radar. Take this maritime law that is thrust to the fore with the Deepwater Horizon rig disaster. A 90 year old law lets BP off the hook for the people who were killed because the rig is considered an ocean going vessel and was more than 3 miles offshore. Why is this law still on the books? Because the cruise industry vigorously supports it! It allows them to ‘police themselves’ when anything happens at sea and severly limits their liability. They really want you to have a good time but if anything unfortunate should happen while at sea…tough luck!
This maritime law is debris
But the cruise lines love what they see.
If they screw you on land
You can sue out of hand
But their safe if they screw you at sea.
June 17, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
Viagra for women…woo hoo! Except for the fact that it doesn’t work very well. Seems the FDA was not bowled over by the test results. And what a test it must have been. Over and over with different size doses…was it good for you now…was it good for you now…was it good for you now?
If Viagra for women should work
It would be a most wondrous perk.
To give up the bad line
‘Cause she’d never decline
Would prevent us from being the jerk.
June 16, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
Gary Faulkner from Colorado is the new Rambo! He’s out on his own searching for Osama bin Laden. There’s no question we could use the help given our lack of success over the years. Still, it’s hard to imagine one man alone going into Pakistan, finding him and bringing him in. He says he’s doing it because he’s mad and religious (almost the same thing). While I love a good altruistic story, I’ve got to think the $25 million reward has something to do with it.
Seems Rambo is in Pakistan
And Osama bin Laden’s his man.
He says he won’t kill
So the $25 mil
Must have been part of the plan.
June 15, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
Indonesia’s moving up in the world. They now have their very own celebrity sex tape scandal and, just like over here, the self-righteous moral police are hot on the trail. The only difference is their moral police are real! It’s jail time if they’re found guilty. It all boils down to religion. Religion and sex are like matter and anti-matter. It’s all so utterly ridiculous that the only adequate response is a limerick.
Indonesia’s celebrity tape
Has the righteous with mouths all agape.
But it’s hard to envision
The good Lord’s derision
At the lovers entwining escape.
June 14, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
The FIFA World Cup tournament has begun! I was never a big soccer fan (aka Football) but the World Cup is a unique sporting event similar to the Olympics. Watching nations compete and the fans celebrate is truly special. The fact that the USA are usually underdogs just adds to the drama. They got lucky on Saturday to get a tie against England but sometimes a little luck is all you need to get started. There will be more soccer limericks in the weeks to come so I hope you enjoy them!
The game against England was tough
But the USA brought the right stuff.
With one goal allowed
They wouldn’t be cowed
And tied on a goaltender muff.
June 11, 2010
Filed under: Limerick Poems — @ 3:00 am
Here are a few limericks as I wax philosophical.
The old year will pass with some sorrow
And the new year will most likely borrow
Much of the same.
It’s a calendar game,
Not a start or and end but tomorrow.
The limerick, with it’s own special day
Has decidedly come a long way.
It delivers a rhyme
That bounces in time
With a finish in clever word play.
My limericks are part to critique
And part to dispel the mystique
Of leadership folk
Whose antics I poke
‘Cause they’re not really all that unique.
June 10, 2010
Filed under: Limerick Poems — @ 3:00 am
I love bashing Apple. There is too much zealotry around this company both inside and out.
The Apple faithful just love their new toys,
You can tell from their pandering noise.
With devotees prodigious
It’s almost religious.
At least they’re not abusing young boys.
Steve Jobs has been known to deliver
The products that make us all quiver
Though the iPod and iPhone
Are nothing to moan
I can’t wait for the new iLiver.
Finally, you can get the iPad
And see if the real thing will add
A different perspective
Than the Apple collective.
Is it fruitful or just an iFad?
Not a limerick but one of my personal favorites.
Our Father who art in Cupertino,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy products come,
Thy marketing be done,
In Best Buy as it is in Walmart.
Give us this day a new ‘i’ something.
And forgive us our Zune and Windows,
As we forgive Microsoft.
And lead us not into an open architecture,
But deliver us from Google.
For thine is the iPhone, the iMac and iPod for ever.
Amen.
Next Page »
