This French artist has created a real, working hoverboard just like the one in Back to the Future. Well…sort of. It works real well as long as you don’t stand on it. What’s cool is the laser stabilization. Check out the video and watch at the end as he gives it a push. It bounces just like the real thing. All you engineers need to get busy. I want one of these by Christmas.
A skateboard that you can propel
Through the air with just legs to impel?
Although it can hover
You’re soon to discover
This replica’s just show and tell.
Here’s a disturbing conundrum. It seems the majority of sunscreens may actually increase the speed at which malignant cells develop and spread skin cancer! As if that’s not bad enough, the FDA has known about this for 10 years. On top of that, it’s spreading through the atmosphere and we’re all gonna die in 3 weeks! Ok…that last one was false but the first two are very disturbing. The FDA denies all knowledge but there are documented studies that they sponsored. “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when those in charge are so naive”.
The cream that we use for protection
From the Sun is now under inspection.
Instead of a shield
It’s now been revealed
It might be the bigger objection!
Republicans are constantly proposing ‘magical’ ideas to solving our problems vs. more adult solutions. Things like: America is never wrong; you can defeat terrorism with the Army; lower taxes will somehow fix the deficit. It’s almost as if they avoid thinking. It’s easier to grab onto a phrase or colloquialism and apply it whenever the going gets tough. The real problem is their blatant self-interest. Their whole agenda revolves around keeping what they got by maintaining the status quo. Not a good prescription for progress.
Here’s a canny idea so bold
I’m hoping it starts to take hold.
GOP candidates
Must submit their birth dates
To prove that they’re not eight years old.
The Phoenix Mars Lander has finally ended operations after repeated attempts to contact it failed. While it may have discovered evidence of water, no evidence of life was found. Maybe that’s a good thing. We have enough trouble getting along with each other let alone a new race of aliens. They’d probably want to take all our low paying jobs and send their alien children to public schools. Maybe we could build a fence in space?
The Phoenix Mars Lander has ended
A journey ‘cross Mars that was splendid,
And unlike Phoenix here
It seems to appear
No aliens there were offended.
The San Jose Sharks fell to the Chicago Black Hawks, four games to zip, in the Western Conference NHL final. Chicago goes on to play for the Stanley Cup and the Sharks go home. Damn! There were some hard fought games but every break seemed to go to Chicago…or they were just outplayed. I would have liked to have seen at least one win. The Black Hawks swam with the sharks and now rule the pool!
The Sharks gave it all to extend
And looked early on to contend,
But the loss of game four
Has slammed shut the door.
Their race for the Cup’s at an end.
The idea of making a New York style pizza at home is a dream…no…more of a fantasy. Their crust is so much better than anything I can make. Is it the wood fired pizza ovens that can get up to 1000 degrees (our ovens maybe get to 550)? Or maybe the starter yeast and flour? Some even say the water (ridiculous). All I know is the crust makes the pizza and New York City’s crust reigns supreme. I love New York…pizza!
A Pizzaiolo who seems in the know
Has a method to take his yeast slow.
He’s keen to advise
An overnight rise
As the secret is all in the dough.
Arizona keeps getting heat for their misguided attempt to address their immigration issues. It’s typical of how conservatives try to solve complex problems with sticks and stones. Now the Arizona brain-trust has trotted out some useless commissioner to threaten LA by withholding Arizona generated electricity. It’s fun watching this play out. Stupid is as stupid does.
Arizonans are starting to foam
At the degree of distaste for their tome
On immigration law,
Which says to us all
There are lights on but no one is home.
Looks like Glenn Beck is losing some viewers for his daily gab fest. I shouldn’t worry to much. It seems that too many people actually get dumber as they get older instead of wiser. I don’t now why that is but it bodes well for the Glenn Becks and Sarah Palins of the world. Take a load of misinformation, mix liberally with fear and angst then sprinkle with a dash of anti-gay, anti-immigration fairy dust and voila!…obsequious minions (more commonly known as monkey-brained followers).
Seems FOX has some trouble with Beck
His ratings are hitting the deck.
But his minions don’t mind
They’re still flying blind
To exalt in his daily train wreck.
This guy Blumenthal is a real piece of work. Lying about serving in Vietnam when he did his best to avoid it! There are too many like him in Congress who dodged the war in their youth only to wave the flag and send other parents kids into battle in Iraq. These kind of people disgust me. If you live in Connecticut please do us all a favor and send this guy packing.
First flag waving, apple pie and Mom
Then he lies about service in Nam.
Let’s get the name right
On his official web site,
Is it hypocrite or liar dot com?
My San Jose Sharks are still in the Stanley Cup Playoffs as it moves into the semi-finals. There is some great hockey being played! I particularly like the way they play best out of seven to advance to the next round. Not only do we get to see a lot of good hockey, but the best team usually rises to the occasion. There will be more hockey limericks if the Sharks advance to the final round so you’ve been warned.
With the end of the game in the air
Every shot on the goal is a scare.
The expletives stream
As yell at my team,
“Will you just get the puck out of there”!
Me, of all people, should have known that May 12th was National Limerick Day. Where’s Hallmark when you really need them? I had to learn from a friends 13 year old daughter. I have been humbled…but…let not the limerick day pass without it’s own special limerick(s). Fortunately, the limerick God is a forgiving God because…he’s a limerick God!
The limerick, with it’s own special day
Has decidedly come a long way.
It delivers a rhyme
That bounces in time
With a finish in clever word play.
You may groan at the limericks I write
Or chafe if the rhymes are not right,
But as long as you smile
My effort’s worthwhile
And my work here is done for tonight.
The Oil company executives in front of Congress sounded just the Bankers a couple of months ago. It’s never anybody’s fault and they don’t know what happened. Of course, when things are going well they take all the credit and award themselves bonuses. Not a single one of these people deserves to be called a leader. They’re just over paid administrators. In an effort to help streamline these congressional inquiries, I’ve created a limerick that can be recited in response to any and all questions. I’m sure Congress will thank me later.
I’ll admit there’s a function that we
Must have played in the mess that you see.
Though I don’t know the cause
There must have been flaws.
What I do know is it wasn’t me!
Here’s something a little different than my normal nonsensical crap. We’ve all been dehumanized by the denizens that inhabit the world of customer service. The endless menus, the annoying “your call is important to us” messages and the stark realization that when you finally get a human, English is their fourth language. The Oatmeal (yeah…weird name but it’s a weird site) has succinctly captured the experience. Enjoy!
While you might think this guy is a putz
Or perhaps a technology klutz,
Calling for help
Is worse than the yelp
At a fist that is mangling his nuts.
The EU keeps working on a plan to ‘rescue’ Greece but their credibility is getting strained. The bottom line is that no country wants to bail out the Greeks who they perceive as abusing their EU membership. They lied to get in and have loaded up on debt with generous pensions and assorted government subsidies. Eventually the ’shit will hit the fan’ as the cultures are just to disparate and the monies to large. It hasn’t happened yet but the shit’s still warm and the fan is still spinning.
The EU keeps working to bail
The Greeks from their debt-induced jail.
But their actions bespeak
They’re all talking Greek,
Which implies there’s a hole in their pail.
When it rains it pours. Tiger was a picture of dejection as he walked off the fairway and out of the Players Championship with a neck problem. I guess we’ll just add this to his list of woes. His fall from grace may not be over. Of all his mistresses, fate may be the cruelest of all.
His golf swing looked more like a wreck
Which kept his low scoring in check.
His dark cloud thought lifting
Has only been shifting,
The ‘bulging’ which moved to his neck.
