March 31, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
I always like these engineering type contests. This video is about building a Rube Goldberg contraption to dispense hand lotion. You could make a case they’re an apt metaphor for how things get done in the real world. Give a large organization or government department a simple objective and watch it wind it’s way through all the various layers, process and bureaucracy to see what comes out the other end. Often times the end product is unrecognizable, but sometimes it actually works as planned!
Events can be more than they seem
The trick is to find what they mean.
Though easy to doubt
Sometimes they work out
Like a ball in Rube Goldberg’s machine.
March 30, 2010
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
Congressional investigators found the EnergyStar program to be rife with incompetence or outright fraud. They submitted and got approved a ‘gasoline powered alarm clock’. They also got approved an ‘air purifier’ that was a space heater with a feather duster glued to the top! The worst part is, the people in charge had nothing constructive in response other than to expound on the programs benefits and reiterate ‘you can trust us’. Sad…sad…sad. Why does no one ever get fired anymore? These people will probably get moved to another governmental department and promoted!
The EnergyStar label should say,
“In no way should this label convey
We’ve checked out as green
Or even have seen
The product you see on display”.
March 29, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
I can now sleep more soundly knowing the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) has got all the bases covered. Their operations manual contains a section on how to search a service monkey. You can read here what a service monkey is (I didn’t know either!). They’ll even go so far as to strip off the monkey’s diaper…and we complain about taking off our shoes! It’s hard to imagine a terrorist trying to blend in carrying a monkey on a plane, but if they try, we’re ready!
You wouldn’t think that they’d make such a fuss
But the TSA views this a plus.
If a terrorist tries
For a diaper disguise,
They’ll not make a monkey out of us.
March 26, 2010
Filed under: Entertainment — @ 3:00 am
Look out! Sarah Palin’s coming back to TV with a new show on TLC. At least they kept her back in Alaska. The new show’s title is ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’. How original. This article had some great ideas for a better name. I shamelessly stole one for my punch line. Have a good weekend.
Sarah Palin continues to bless
Giving more of the same but less.
Back on TV
She’s on TLC,
With a new show ‘The Bewilderness’
March 25, 2010
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
It was bad enough watching members of the GOP encourage the nutbags who were shouting racial epithets to exiting Congressmen. Now we have the makings of a temper tantrum by refusing to work past 2:00 pm. Who elected these people? I’m reminded of a quote from Elaine to Jerry Seinfeld that applies to these congressmen, “sometimes when I think you’re the shallowest men I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.”
As the DEMS try to work in the dome
The GOP is out for a roam.
Their behavior today
Is like a child’s play,
“I’m gonna take all my toys and go home”.
March 24, 2010
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
I’m glad to see the Health Care bill pass. How it will affect people down the line is mostly unknown because there are too many variables for anyone to be able to predict with any certainty. What I do know is that something had to change. This is what the GOP fails to see and what will become evident in November when they don’t regain control of Congress.
The majority of the people wanted a change to the status quo. Conservatives are afraid of change (hence the name) and fight it at every turn. Yet, despite their wails of doom and gloom, life goes on. The wheels turn, progress is made and the sun rises to a new day that is just a little bit different from the last. You can fight it, but it’s ultimately a losing battle.
Health Care has come to fruition
Despite all the loud opposition.
The party of ‘no’
Gave it a go,
But ‘yes’ was the country’s volition.
March 23, 2010
Filed under: Entertainment — @ 3:00 am
I thought Tiger did a poor job of selecting mistresses but Jesse James has done him one better. A tattooed, divorced, single mom stripper. Not that there’s anything wrong with that per se, but not exactly the makings for a rocket career trajectory. If in doubt about her motives, just look how fast she gave it all up to the gossip rags. I always thought a Payday was a candy bar but these girls have got it the other way around. Take care of the ‘candy bar’ and get a pay day.
Jesse James is the new King of Shame
A title that bore Tiger’s name.
In a contest of fools
Who can’t mind their tools,
The victory is no claim to fame.
It’s two-fer Tuesday…
What a mess Sandra Bullock is in
And it comes on the heels of her win.
Because money and fame
Attract the inane,
The surprise is not ‘if’ but ‘when’.
March 22, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
I had dinner this past weekend with some friends, one of whom is Persian, to celebrate the Persian new year. A good time was had by all. Needless to say, this day does not garner much attention given modern day Persia is embodied in Iran. The Persian people and culture, however, have a very long history. Governments come and go but the culture of a people is as timeless as the traditions they keep. If we could just scrape off the lunatic fringe from both ends of the spectrum and eliminate the governments, I’ll bet the rest of us could get along quite well.
Saturday was the Persian new year
Not a day that is recognized here.
Governments pick sides
But friendship decides
The people we chose to hold dear.
March 19, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 6:00 am
There’s always talk this time of year about how much productivity is lost because of the NCAA Basketball tournament. I would take those numbers with a grain of salt. This article debunks most of the estimates but it misses one important point. It assumes that all the work being done is productive. Anybody whose been in the cubicle trenches knows what I’m talking about. Spreadsheets that never get viewed, PowerPoint’s that never get shown, reports that never get read, etc. I think you have to employ the 80-20 rule here. Only 20% of work is productive vs. 80% which is non-productive. The good news is you still get paid.
Some folks are just trying to enthral
By harping against basketball.
But what is the cost
Of productivity lost
If the work had no value at all?
March 18, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
There’s a scandal brewing (again) in the Catholic church regarding the sexual abuse of young boys by the priesthood. You would have thought they cleaned this up after the scandals in the USA. Nope. Now all of Europe is engulfed in the same crap. So what does the church do? Nothing…again! The Pope’s response is to send a ‘pastoral’ letter. Are you kidding me? A letter? They’re ether clueless or arrogant or both. Thank God I’m not Catholic.
You would think that the priests would know better
Or the Bishops in charge they would fetter,
The use of young boys
As sexual toys,
Now the Pope will fix all with a letter.
March 17, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
Tiger’s coming back! Let the media frenzy begin. Now we get to hear everybody’s (and I mean everybody’s) opinion all over again. It’ll be fun to see the paparazzi vs. the old curmudgeons that run the Masters. I’ll put my money on the old guys. They’ll keep a lid on things inside the grounds but outside promises to be a real zoo. We’ll see if this tiger can make the adjustment.
The media just loves when it plasters
The airwaves with Tiger’s disasters.
They’ll gear up again
‘Cause now we know ‘when’,
He’ll come back to play in the Masters.
March 16, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
Here comes another stupid study from the American Medial Association. This time they suggest charging more for pizza to make us all healthier. The idea is so ludicrous that I wonder if they’re not paid on a per-study basis, content be damned. Surely they can’t think these ridiculous studies actually help? Then again…they gave me a good laugh and…I do feel a little bit better.
I’ve a sense that the AMA’s without
A compass to know what to tout.
Their ridiculous wish
To ban the deep dish,
Will not get a chance to ‘pan out’.
March 15, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
The genesis of rising food prices may start with the seeds. Monsanto is using their market dominance to drive up seed prices. Farmers used to pay just for the seeds but now they must ‘license’ the genes in Monsanto’s genetic soybeans. Sometimes there’s even an add-on ‘technology’ fee. What starts as competition turns to exploitation when the big guys squeeze out the little guys. I’m trying hard to remain a good Capitalist but it keeps getting harder every day.
The farmers are starting to shout,
At Monsanto’s misuse of their clout.
The company refutes
But legal disputes
Are starting to plant seeds of doubt.
March 12, 2010
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
This is a good example of our dysfunctional government. The two parties are arguing over new banking rules that will have no effect. By the time anything gets passed it’s so watered down as to be meaningless. Consumer financial protection is an oxymoron and banks will insure any new rules pertaining to them will be toothless and ineffective. Add to this the current batch of regulators who failed to do their jobs and there’s only one conclusion…you’re on your own people. With our form of capitalism, there’s no protection from greed or incompetence.
We’ve got Dodd and Corker who’re working
Because regulators were shirking
Their oversight role.
With greed in control,
Another contagion is lurking.
Check out this article on ‘Why Capitalism Fails‘ for an prescient look at what happened and what the future might hold.
March 11, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 5:50 am
Here’s and interesting video of a guy teaching older folk how to use their walking sticks as a weapon. Good idea! He teaches a few martial arts moves to ward off attackers. I always thought those things looked dangerous…except for the people who normally use them. If we could turn walking sticks into a fashion statement and get more people to carry them, we could reduce the crime rate by increasing the number of people ‘raising cain’.
Some thugs might think twice about kicking
Around elderly folk who are picking
Up skills in defense
Which provide a pretense,
So next time the thugs take the licking.
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