November 30, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
The scientists that had their e-mails hacked deserve all the scorn we can heap. This is why I get suspicious whenever everyone starts ‘drinking the koolaid’. Nothing is ever black and white and dissenting views need to be heard…always! Then they insult us with their lame excuses about “colloquialisms frequently used between close colleagues”. Here’s a colloquialisms I use with my colleagues that they might understand…”you f**ked up royal”
The climate change fellows are troubled
As they’re ‘attitude’ e-mails have bubbled
Up on to the surface.
Though noble in purpose,
Their pomposity seems to have doubled.
November 27, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving! I also hope you weren’t lined up at 5:00 am for the big Black Friday sales gimmick. It’s become a big ‘con job’ as retailers advertise great bargains only to add the fine print that says they have 2 items per store. What crap! Best Buy is the worst. Do us all a favor and shop Amazon instead.
We’ve a feast for Thanksgiving although,
It feels rushed ’cause by weeks end we’ll go
Shopping and spending
With zeal never ending.
Black Friday is stealing the show.
November 25, 2009
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
“The times they are a changing”. Cannabis College in Detroit teaches everything you need to know about growing marijuana. They also have classes in harvesting, curing and distribution. So cool! Michigan recently legalized the drug for medicinal purposes. There are probably only a few jobs that would benefit with this on your resume…but I’ll bet they’re very interesting jobs.
I discovered a school that has got
A curriculum, probably not
Found in most schools.
They’re teaching the tools
For a degree with a major in Pot.
November 24, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
I don’t know if I was more shocked to hear they found Galileo’s finger, or to learn that someone had the finger at all! Turns out there are three fingers floating around and some vertabrae. Come on people, get a grip. If you’re a fan of his work then read his writings or study his history…don’t collect his body parts. Next thing you know, someone will declare them ‘holy’ (not the Catholic church) and we’ll end up with a new religion…or worse yet, a new Galileo.
What’s the purpose in keeping the bones
From a person who’s famously known?
It macabre at best
And my only guess
Is we’re planning to make him a clone.
November 23, 2009
Filed under: Investing — @ 3:00 am
Goldman continues to astound with their arrogance. Between doing “God’s work” and feeble apologies for their role in the current mess, it’s all just more cheap talk as they continue to speculate with cheap tax-payer subsidized loans (TALF). It will take someone with a lot of courage and political muscle to take them on. Unfortunately, courage and politics are mutually exclusive.
Seems Goldman has a deal with the Lord,
His permission to build up their horde.
They’re skimming the cream
While knowing it means
Someone else has to fall on the sword.
November 20, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
Playboy Enterprises is looking for a buyer. Another icon felled by the Internet although it started to decline with the onset of AIDS. Before that, any STD was usually taken care of with a shot of penicillin. Now it’s sex or death thanks to some monkey in Africa. I’d like to find him and spank that monkey!
The bunny is about to be sold.
Her costume was iconic and bold.
With that little bow tie
And tail held high,
She provided for pleasures untold.
November 19, 2009
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
For the life of me I cannot understand peoples’ attraction to Sarah Palin. She’s not that bright, she has nothing to say other than standard rhetoric and well….she’s just not that bright. But then again, neither was George Bush and he was elected twice! As long as you’re anti-abortion and anti-gay, you’re a viable Republican candidate. With that in mind I’d like to nominate Goldie my goldfish. She’s anti-abortion because she lays eggs and anti-gay because she can only remember the last 10 seconds (not enough time to figure out what gay is and why it’s bad). I also think she would handle the media crush better than Sarah. After all, she’s lived in a ‘fish bowl’ her whole life.
Sarah Palin is back in the news
But her book is more of a ruse.
With her brains still lacking
The only ones backing
Her cause are conservative rubes.
November 18, 2009
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
President Obama met with the Chinese this week but nothing substantial happened. Just as planned. The whole trip was a scripted affair, even the town meeting where Obama had hoped to talk openly to some real people. The Chinese would have none of that. They control all the media and know how to use it. Free speech is not even in their dictionary.
The Chinese are meeting Obama
But afraid of his positive karma.
With his contact constricted
And talks mostly scripted,
It’s their same old news spin-o-rama.
November 17, 2009
Filed under: Entertainment — @ 3:00 am
Carrie Prejean, the ex-Miss California, just keeps making the news with her gaffs. Why do people who spout off about their morality always have a closet full of skeletons (or pictures, or sex tapes, or arrest records, etc). Her lawsuit against the Miss USA pageant ended abruptly when a sex tape surfaced with her as the star. It was the “biggest mistake of my life” she opined…until eight other tapes were found! Then she got all contrite and said that God was testing her. I wonder if he grades on a curve?
She had hoped to win Miss USA
But her plans went famously astray.
If showing her breasts
Was one of God’s tests,
Did she flunk or did she get an ‘A’?
November 16, 2009
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
There is a golf course that lies right on the border between North and South Korea, right next to the DMZ (demilitarized zone). It only has one hole but it’s a monster. A snap hook to the left may end with a ka-boom as it lands in a mine field. It acts as a little ’slice of life’ for the soldiers stationed at this lonely outpost. Did I forget to mention the Korean tigers and vampire deer? It sounds like one of those crazy golf holes you see on calendars…except this one is real.
The course is between both Koreas
And to play it is no panacea
For the boredom and stress.
Still…the soldiers attest
‘Hats off’ to one crazy idea.
November 13, 2009
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
The Catholic church has decided to weigh in on the Health Care debate. Sorry guys (literally) but there is no place for you at the table. First off we have this little thing called separation of church and state. Secondly, I don’t subsidize you with my taxes to have you then show up and try to influence policy. In short…back off! If you want to get into politics…let’s have a vote for Pope.
The Catholic church wants a say
In the Health Care debate underway.
As they don’t pay their freight
With a zero tax rate,
Their role is to stay away and pray.
November 12, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
Three Americans are being held captive in Iran after inadvertantly straying across the border. While I’m sympathetic to their current plight, I have to ask…what the hell were they doing there in the first place? Being in Iraq is questionable enough but then to go hiking along the border to Iran? Somebody is missing some brain cells. I suppose their next trip is mountain biking along the Afghanistan Pakistan border?
We were walking thru Iraq one day
In the merry, merry month of May.
We were taken by surprise
And accused of being spies
Now we’re locked up in Iran…to stay.
November 11, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
A doctor’s group signed a six figure alliance deal with Coca-Cola. Not a problem on the surface but this group is trying to promote sugar-free alternatives to soft drinks. The head of the group says the deal won’t influence the groups message or website content. He either doesn’t get it or doesn’t care. Groups like this should go out of their way to avoid any hint of impropriety if they want to tout their independence. Opportunity and suspicion are all it takes for credibility to suffer and we all know Coke isn’t funding this out of the kindness of their heart.
A doctors group vote caused a splash,
Then some members quit in the clash.
What did provoke?
A new deal with Coke.
The sweetener was sugar-free cash.
November 10, 2009
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
There’s a directory on the Internet called DMOZ. It’s used by Google and others to index various websites. Getting into this directory is a great way to get new traffic and more exposure for a new website. Problem is, these folks are dysfunctional. Once you submit your site for inclusion, it could take “two days or two years” to get it reviewed! I understand they’re staffed by volunteers but that’s ridiculous. So this site is hanging in limbo and that kind of nonsense deserves a limerick…in this case two…which I sent them in good humor.
“In fourteen hundred and ninety two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue”,
The same year, to wit,
I did submit,
My site to DMOZ for review.
In the year of our Lord 402,
I submitted my site to you.
At the time it was sent,
I had used parchment.
Should I resend my request anew?
November 9, 2009
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
This is a funny story about a women who picked up a case of ‘transient global amnesia’ after having sex with her husband. He called 911 because she seemed disoriented. He was alternately concerned and laughing out loud at her predicament. My kind of guy! Although rare, this condition can happen in older folks when engaging in strenuous activity. This will adversely affect men all over the world as now there is a medical excuse for “not tonight dear, I have a headache”.
Said a wife after sex “who are you?
I can’t seem to remember our screw.
I’m no longer turned on
And my headache is gone
So it must have been good for me too.”
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