March 10, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
Good news for women! Moderate alcohol intake can help keep those pounds off. It doesn’t get any better than that. Get a buzz and lose weight. I’d like to see a partner study that says increased sexual activity makes women look younger. Then we’ll have women getting drunk and demanding sex! Sometimes science can be a wonderful thing.
Women want to see their weight shrinking
Now there’s help from a study that’s linking,
Weight loss to booze.
Now you can lose
Those unwanted pounds while you’re drinking.
March 9, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
Here’s a lady in New York who’s upset with a t-shirt that reads, “I may not be an Irish girl but I drink like one”. What’s the big deal? St. Paddy’s day is just around the corner and every bar that begins with the letter ‘O’ will be serving out beer as fast as they can pour it. “Why can’t they quote Oscar Wilde or say something positive”, she whines. Simple, Oscar Wilde is not funny (or as sexy) as the thought of drunk Irish girls. It’s called humor and people that get the joke have a ’sense of humor’. Jeez…sometimes I feel like I have to explain everything. Don’t worry lady, if you match the stereotype we’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing with you…unless you’re not laughing in which case we ARE laughing at you.
Humor has a mandate to poke
At the way people see other folk.
If a slogan on a shirt
Gets a burr up your skirt
Then you’re now the ‘butt’ of the joke.
March 8, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
Researchers at the Kinsey Institute have found a surprising range of answers for the meaning of the phrase ‘had sex’. It was all pretty straight forward until Bill Clinton tried to single-handedly change the definition. Intercourse, oral, anal, other? I’ll not despair. Call it anything you want…I know what it is when I get it.
It seems that the phrase we ‘had sex’
Is suddenly much more complex.
I supposed ‘getting laid’
Will have to be weighed
To see if it too will perplex.
March 5, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
Looks like the ‘purge’ has started in Russia following their dismal showing in Vancouver. The head of their Olympic Committee has resigned. I was noticing when I was watching how few times they were in the mix. They’re usually very big at the winter games especially in skating and Hockey. I think the Hockey loss to Canada was particularly galling. Canada, with their record take in gold medals, has raised the bar for host country performance. Russia will host in 2012.
While Russia is able to boast
Sports prowess that’s better than most,
Vancouver fell flat
So there’s no standing pat,
As the next time it’s their turn to host.
March 4, 2010
Filed under: Lifestyle — @ 3:00 am
Here’s a good way to get people riled up…trade their holy text for porn! That’s what this Atheist group wants to do and the Christians are up in arms. It’s not just Bibles though. They’ll also accept Korans or Vedas (Hindu holy writings) so it seems like all religions are being treated equally. The problem with holy books is that they’re reverential to some but pure fiction to others so it’s hard to put a universal value on them. What’s the answer? Tolerance. You have your beliefs and I have mine…and “n’er the twain shall meet”.
If Bibles for porn have been traded
You might think that terribly jaded.
Holy word or just prose?
No one really knows,
So it’s hard to tell when they’re degraded.
March 3, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
I miss the Olympics already…although every time I tried to watch I just got disgusted with NBC. I’ll leave that alone for now. The Olympics are a singular international event that brings people together from all over the world. If we could solve our political problems with sporting games we’d all be a lot better off. The Winter games are not quite as popular given that many countries don’t have winter but the feeling of camaraderie and shared experience is still there. And in the end…a gold medal is still a gold medal. Kudos to the Canadians for putting on a spectacular event!
The Winter Olympics have past
And for some it was glory at last.
While others saw pain
All stood to gain,
From the drama that plays unsurpassed.
The Winter games show us concisely
The things that you must do precisely,
To take home the gold.
But the best to behold
Is what happens when all can play nicely.
March 2, 2010
Filed under: Entertainment — @ 3:00 am
I just finished a good series of books about Julius Caesar by Conn Iggulden. I like to read history but it’s usually too dry so I opt for historical fiction. A good author like Conn, can create a story around historical events and people that makes it much more interesting and downright entertaining.
I’ve wandered off in this direction as March begins because the Ides of March was the day Caesar was killed (not only Brutus but a whole bunch of others participated…see how much I learned!). “Beware the Ides of March” was supposedly told to Caesar as warning of his future death. Who knows if it’s really true but even historians can’t resist a good catch-phrase.
Julius Caesar influenced afar,
With his name as the source for a ‘Czar’.
An Oscar award
With Brando aboard
Then made him a Hollywood star.
Emperor: The Gates of Rome: A Novel of Julius Caesar (The Emperor Series)
Emperor: The Death of Kings: A Novel of Julius Caesar (The Emperor Series)
Emperor: The Field of Swords (The Emperor)
Emperor: The Gods of War: A Novel of Julius Caesar
March 1, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
Now here’s a good idea for Tiger Woods…offer to host Saturday Night Live! This would go a long way towards showing us the real Tiger instead of the PR image Tiger. Let’s face it, the PR image Tiger is long gone and never to return so he’s got nothing to lose. Plus, if you can laugh at yourself, the whole world laughs with you.
This remedy for Tiger will tell
If his humor’s in rehab as well.
Screw the PR
And come as you are
To guest host a new SNL.
February 26, 2010
Filed under: Sports — @ 3:00 am
Here’s group who want to make ‘pole’ dancing an Olympic sport. I’m not sure exactly where the skill comes into play but who am I to judge. That, in fact, is a concern of current pole dancers. They fear you might attract gymnasts, circus performers or Chinese acrobats and lose the sensual aspect of the dance. I don’t think this will get very far. We usually like to keep our sex and sports separated…except for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue.
There’s a group who have a new goal
For their dancing, an Olympic role.
But fathers aren’t sold
As they’ve always been told
To be keeping their girls ‘off the pole’.
Lindsay Vonn
February 25, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
I’m not sure what to make of the Bloom Box as seen on 60 Minutes. It looks like a great idea although I’m not expert enough to tell otherwise. The experts quoted above were unanimously unimpressed. The technology’s not new and significant cost barriers still exist which is why it will take 5-10 years before we ever see one for the home. So why all the hype now? Either I’m missing something or maybe they’re just looking for more money.
The buzz for their fuel cell is booming
With hope for clean energy looming.
But five to ten years
Before it appears?
This box is a long way from blooming.
Watch CBS News Videos Online
February 24, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
This homeowner decided to bulldoze his house rather than lose it to the bank in foreclosure. He wants to ’send a message’ to the bank but he’s missing the point. The bank doesn’t want the house, they want the money the house will bring. Now he’ll have the bank AND the insurance company after him. If he can avoid paying them via bankruptcy then maybe this will work in his favor but I have my doubts. Now he’s going to have to bulldoze the legal system. Good luck with that!
While he might think the banker’s a louse
And his complaints a legitimate grouse,
To bulldoze is dramatic
But anti-climatic.
It’s money they want, not the house.
February 23, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
The Shuttle Endeavour comes in for a night landing that is too cool for words. While the program has been expensive, it has reshaped space travel. I understand the need to move forward but the replacement program was tied into future moon visits so now we’re ready to retire the Shuttles with no replacement in site. Typical government bureaucracy. It’s amazing sometimes how anything gets done at all.
The Shuttles are way past their youth
And now getting long in the tooth.
As budget cuts mauled
Replacements got stalled.
‘Ghostly’ is too close to the truth.
Credit:NASA
February 22, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
The school administrators in Philadelphia that used webcams in their laptops to ‘prevent theft’ need to have their collective heads examined. Am I to believe that nobody thought remotely activating a camera in the students home was a breach of privacy? This is a sad statement on the quality of our educators. The FBI and the courts are now going to be passing out the grades and the school district looks to earn a big, fat ‘F’.
Their statement portrayed them as trying
To safeguard their laptops, not spying.
But accusing a student
Was not very prudent,
As it turns out the school had been lying.
February 19, 2010
Filed under: Events — @ 3:00 am
I didn’t get a chance last week to talk about these yahoos (not the search engine!). With the discussions of health care costs at the forefront of everyone’s mind, Anthem Bluecross (owned by Wellpoint) decides to raise rates by 40%. If they did it on purpose, it’s astounding the balls they have. It’s like a big FU to the whole country. I’m generally not a fan of big government but I’m less a fan of big business. Who else can protect the little guy from the avarice of these large corporations?
At Wellpoint it’s all about growth
With a leader who must be an oaf.
Health Care’s at the fore
And he plays the whore.
Is he greedy or clueless or both?
February 18, 2010
Filed under: Politics — @ 3:00 am
These two Senators introduced a bill calling for regime change in Iran. The worst part is, they are openly influenced e.g. take money from the American Israel Public Affair Committee. These folks brag about their unlimited influence in both houses of Congress. So let me get this straight, we should send in our boys to die so these two can keep their Israeli money spigot flowing. I think the good folks in Texas and Kansas need to take a long hard look at these two jokers.
The Senate we fill by election
A process that’s far from perfection.
Take Cornyn and Brownback
Who want to attack
To protect their Israeli connection.
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